Day off duty

With only one week until my 25th birthday I decided to do something for others rather than myself on my day off.  I woke up at 5am to go to Rockaway beach to help clean up after the storm. Honestly I didn't know what to expect, seeing images from media these last two weeks. Somehow if it's in the news it does not seem real. So when I stepped off the bus I was nervous from not knowing how I was going to react to it all.

They informed us early on that they didn't want us taking pictures. That this was peoples homes and we had to respect that. When I heard that it sounded so logical, of course these people wanted to keep the little privacy they had left, with all their personal belongings spread out over the street. Media has done enough to cover the craziness, the last thing they need is for us to take pictures of their belongings and what was once their home, just to post on our blogs or Facebook. I got really upset when one of my volunteer colleges showed me a picture that he posted on Instagram. A picture of him in his 'clean up outfit' holding a broken clock in one hand and a pair of underwear in the other.

I was there for 8 hours, sorting garbage from photographs, helping out in the soup kitchen they set up and talking to people. Many where volunteers from the city like me, humbled by the whole situation and swore never to mention that 'I was out of power for 5 DAYS! I could not charge my phone!'. Having lost power for 5 days is a piece of cake compared to losing you home. Not only have you lost your home, your safe place and your things. You have to deal with cleaning it all up yourself because only you know what is valuable to you, AND you have to deal with insurance companies, media, people like me that try to help but need directions in everything we do.

I met so many great people yesterday. I cried more than I wanted to, overwhelmed by the hope and encouragement people had and how grateful they were for our help. I felt guilty for not helping out more, for not having millions of dollars to donate and for stepping on that bus that took me home to my hot shower and fully stocked fridge. I feel guilty over sitting here at my kitchen table having breakfast, knowing that I'm going to work, then school and that everything for me is back to normal. I'm afraid that this will have been a 'good experience' volunteering and that it will become something I tell my friends. 'When I volunteered after Sandy and helped clean up...' When I have no bragging rights at all.